waiting is wasting

I have lived 7,012 days

And today I have come to the realization that I have spent far too many of them waiting. I wait for the day when this is going to happen or the day when I finally reach that mile stone. Too much waiting is wasted time. There are only 6 weeks left in my first year of college and I don't want to waste them. Here is to not waiting for it to end but instead living every moment, minute and memory knowing that March 18th 2014 only ever happens once. I want to make these last 45ish days as a freshman in college mean something because life is fragile and nothing will ever be the same as it is today.

No more just waiting for my mission, preparing still but I don't want to wish time away. The time I have left with these people in this circumstance is precious and it is limited.

I love to see the temple

I've spent my whole life preparing for this day. It came much sooner than I had planned on back when I sang the words of I Love to See the Temple in Primary. I never dreamed that I would be taking this step in my life at 19. The temple is unlike anything I have experienced before. I'm so grateful to have been raised by parents who set a good example for me and helped me get there. I was very flustered and nervous going in. The fact that I forgot my temple recommend on the kitchen table and ended up being late didn't help. However, I'm pretty sure the requirements for being a temple worker include being incredibly kind and motherly and they put my nerves at ease. I'm grateful for the people who were there with me that day as well as the many who weren't but have played significant roles in getting me to this point in my life. I feel happier writing this post than I have in weeks. I'm one step closer to living with my Father in Heaven again. My life has purpose and meaning. God has a plan for His children. The blessings of the temple are beautiful! One day I'll be back in that temple to be sealed for time and all eternity. It was a great day and there aren't words for the feelings I felt.

I still love to see the temple even more now that I have been inside.

SB2k14

Post Spring Break depression is so real. The fact that it snowed today in Logan was the tipping point to my homesickness. I knew I loved St. George but I had forgotten how beautiful March is down south in my earthly form of paradise.

Taking new people down memory lane.

I did all my favorite things and couldn't have had a better 4 girls do them with me! It was a little weird to go back to so many places that hold such significant memories and make new memories there. I will always have a special place in my heart for my hometown. It has been good to me through the years and gave me the boost I was craving. Spring Break two thousand fourteen was phenomenal and here are just a few of the reasons why...
>Spent two incredible days in Zion. It is safe to say that Zion's National Park is one of my all time favorite places. Monday I survived a brutal 8 mile "stair-master, strenuous hike" with the fam bam! We hiked Observation point once while Jeff was on his mission and so we set out to do it again for Hermana Haley. It is my guess the family will pick a different hike to write my name in sticks at the top of while I am gone because that puppy kicked our butts. I'm not sure what I did to hurt myself but I spent the next few days icing and getting taped because I had to be better for round two with the roommates on Thursday. Thursday the gals and my brothers set out on one of my favorites. Angels Landing is popular and it should be. It was my 3rd time up that mountain. Angels is much more forgiving on your legs and half the mileage. I loved going back up that trail with my college friends reminiscing on last years trip up with the high school homies.
>I had fun taking my aggies (joined by my childhood bestie Steph) to some of the classic make-out look out spots of St.G. We did it the right way with a Swig run in the mix. (I'm not even going to try and explain my love for swig, just know it's deep). We hit up Dixie rock first which was more crowded than I have ever seen it by A LOT. I think every high school baseball team was there. We attempted to start a dance party but let's be honest high school kids care way too much about what others think to have a solid dance party. It gave us a lot of material to joke about for the rest of the night though and there is nothing like getting hit on by 17 year olds to boost your ego haha. After we got our dance bug out in the parking lot we headed to the D. It had been a while since I had been back there. We were the only ones up there and I think it has a way better view of the city. I sat there with girls I adore and fell in love with St. George all over again.
>The week was full of fun. I ate at my favorite restaurant, slept in my comfy bed, laughed at my goofy brothers, made new friends, saw some old ones, soaked up some sun and hot tub, had a glorious picnic, hit up down town for thrifting and St. G loving, shopping and bonding and much more! If I wrote it all this post would be a novel and I'm getting sleepy so I'll leave it with this...
I'm so grateful for good friends and a forever family! I'm so blessed! Special thanks to Ma and Pa for letting me bring the craziness home with me and for feeding us so well. I was not ready AT ALL for it to end. I saved best for last and ended the week with the Temple.

I'll steal some of Nicole Tucker Photography soon but until then here are a few iphone pics to fill the space.

 

17 months ago

Did I really say 'see ya in 2' seventeen months ago?
How different my life was back then. Spent a good part of yesterday remembering all the fun I had with Elder Kimzey. Good friends are what made my high school experience so great and this friend is the reason I passed STATS. It was a good little pick me up to email back and forth with this Elder. I feel sad that I wont be here for when he comes home. Look out Provo girls Logan's got 7 months left. ;)

Uptight

What happened to finding joy in the little things?
What happened to ambition?
What happened to waking up in the morning with a desire to make the most of today?
What happened to laughing at every joke?
What happened to not caring what they thought and just loving me?
What happened to wanting adventure?
What happened to loving people?
What happened to spontaneity and YOLO?
What happened to loving dance parties?
What happened to just wanting to make it through class so I could come home?
What happened to confidence?
What happened to a positive attitude?

What happened to me? Where did I go and where can I find that girl I liked being?

A Bridge

-like a bridge-

A bridge is strong.
A bridge is steady.
A bridge is reliable, resilient, rigid.
Water races beneath the bridge but the bridge holds firm.
Cars press down and push across the bridge but the bridge doesn't move.

I want to be like a bridge.
I want to be strong.
I want to be steady.
I want to be reliable, resilient, rigid.
Emotion races within me but I strive to hold firm.
The weight of the world presses down on me but I will be

like a bridge.

 Spent several quality hours with myself at first dam today.

The rain always seems to come on really emotional days.

as of late

College
Preheat experience to varying levels of new, exciting and weird
cook for a strange perspective on time

>minimal sleep
>excessive amounts of dance parties
>heavy on the good friends
>don't be afraid to spice it up with trying new things
>stir in a healthy amount of growing up
>thicken with love of the gospel and testimony building
>finish it off with a sprinkle of new and a times uncomfortable