A year without you.

I'll be in the MTC when this posts.

A whole year without you.
a year missing you
a year writing letters
a year refreshing and checking for emails
a year telling anyone who would listen about you
a year dreaming of you
a year praying for you
a year wishing and hoping for the future
a year listening to saved voicemails
a year looking at pictures
a year being probably pretty pathetic

365 days and my heart has felt every single one. To say that I have missed him doesn't even scratch the surface. I love Elder Esplin!

Stupid Ukraine.

Only Elder Esplin could handle 4 different missions in one year.

I guess he is just too good that it would be unfair for only one side of the world to get Adam Esplin.

In all honesty though I am sad for him. He was so excited about the work in Ukraine and he loved those people. He had to watch his mission die. Pray for Adam. Pray for Ukraine.

Next stop in the adventures of Elder Esplin- Fort Collins, Colorado.

I have never met anyone who so easily got along with any person in his path. He is so versatile they could send him anywhere. This boy has taken "I'll go where you want me to go" to a whole new level this last year.

A bit of his e-mail from a few days ago (before he knew he was leaving) "this week has just been so inspiring and i have learned so much i am so grateful to be here; i know i signed up for this mission before i came to earth. I need this. I need this to prepare me for what is to come and my family. I know this church is true megs. Heavenly Father KNOWS YOU. He loves you and has prepared people just for you in Canada."

I hope to one day have the faith that he does.

Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday Elder!

I wish more than anything that I could tell you Happy Birthday in person.

I wish we could go get a nasty green slim shake or that I could spend the night on the phone with you listening to the play by play of your whole day.

One day, one day we will celebrate birthdays together again.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for lots and lots of them.

just a year ago

March 28th 2013 was the day I officially meet Adam Esplin.

I have to say officially because I had heard about and facestalked him for weeks leading up to this day.

I will forever be grateful for that "blind" date.

This photo is from just a few days later.
This was probably the best snow cone I have ever eaten.

A piece of my journal entry from a year ago...
"I was so scared to go! but it only took a few minutes with Adam to feel completely comfortable. He was such a funny, kind, easy to talk to and super handsome date. {description of date} I sure wish I would have met him a few years ago. He really is such a great kid who loves his family and has his priorities right. Man after one date I'm pretty flustered."

8/30

It has been 8 months since he left but I remember it like it was yesterday.

Nostalgia, it's dangerous.

nos·tal·gia

  [no-stal-juh, -jee-uh, nuh-] 

noun

1.

a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time:

Might be my favorite picture of Adam. Please notice the paper clip as a tie clip and his attempt at the smolder (tangled).

lots of adam posts lately. again nostalgia it's a rough road.

Valentines Day

It's the most hated holiday but that doesn't mean it can't have its pros right?

Valentines from Ukraine! Yeah, I know, he is adorable! Boy do I miss him. I didn't even think about Valentines Day when I emailed him last week. What a wonderful surprise these cute pictures were. Elder Esplin is my favorite!

Dressing up for the Pre-Valentines day dance party. We go to some kind of dance party multiple times a week. We take our dance parties pretty seriously! I love living with these good looking gals!

4 dance parties in 5 days... I'm pretty danced out. Valentines day you were good to us, until next year xoxo

Missing Sunshine and You

*Warning* It's late and I'm emotional and this is corny.

It hasn't stopped snowing here in Logan since they asked everyone to pray and fast for moisture. Now I'm all for answering prayers but I miss being warm. I miss summer and summer reminds me of Adam. I miss Adam. I miss the lake. I miss feeling the heat of the sun threatening to give me skin cancer. I miss shorts and T-shirts. But most of all I miss Adam.

233 days in the mission field done for Elder Esplin. 

(Thank you siri for your math skills I know I ask about everyday.)

See you in 665 days Elder Esplin. It'll be December but I'll take winter all year round if I get you with it.

one of those days

Days until I see his face- 4
Days he has been gone- 185 (6 months and 2 days)
Days until I see him in person- unknown
Days I have gone without thinking of him since we met- 0

As time passes you would think that day would feel closer... guess again. Doesn't make much sense now does it? But since when has 'time' been rational, logical or at all kind?!

Trying not to waste any days either.

5 months

Happy 5 months Elder Esplin.

I couldn't help it- that is why I made this blog so I could post whatever I wanted right?! It has been a really long five months but here is to hoping the next couple years will fly by. I would assume that I had the hardest 5 behind me. I had a weird thought tonight. Adam has been gone longer than we dated or even knew each other before he left. If I wasn't living this story I would never bet on us lasting. Karma is tricky because I was never a big believer in high school relationships or missionary romances making it. I guess I have to eat my own words because I would be lying to you if I didn't admit that I make the same 11:11 wish every time. Adam and I had a really fast developing relationship and I honestly haven't ever felt this way about anyone before. I know I'm young and I know I have a lot of growing up to do but if these last few months have taught me anything it is that Elder Adam Esplin is one of a kind. Even if we end up taking different paths in life I will forever be grateful for his influence on my life. I am a better person because I knew him.

We emailed back and forth the other night (night for me, middle of the day for him). I hadn't done so in a long time because of the time zone difference. Every Monday morning I die a little when I see his "I'm on" email. (He sends an email right when he gets on the computer and all it says is "i'm on") It comes around 3 AM and usually I am sound asleep. The boy is the most random writer and you can never get much information out of him but he still jokes and teases the same so the lack of sleep is worth it. I makes me miss him but I miss him anyway.

So 5 months down and depending on when I leave 2ish years to go. Crazier things have happened right?

The sweetest sound

45 minutes with my favorite Elder

Ukraine doesn't even know what is coming.

Missed the first phone call and thought the world was ending. Thank goodness for layovers! I don't know why I thought he would be any different. The boy on the other end of the phone is still the same goofy kid I adored. It felt so good to joke and laugh with him as if he left yesterday. To hear the same phrases and jokes with just a little bit of Russian added in. It wasn't one bit sad because he sounded so happy. The gospel brings such joy to the lives of those who hear and share its truth. I'm so grateful for the knowledge I have of the truth of this gospel. It didn't make it easier to hang up but after I did I knew I didn't want it any other way.

Я люблю тебя старейшина Esplin

You have to giggle just a little at how he put his name in my phone.
I will never ever change it.

Missionary Madness

I'm one of them...

I always said I would never be one of those girls. I made fun of those girls. Call it karma. Call me a hypocrite. This is my life. Sending and waiting for letters week after week. I don't know why I think my relationship is any different from the hundreds of other girls out there. I really want it to be for the fact of not wanting to be main stream or thought of as a band-wagoner. If you knew the kid you wouldn't blame me for going against everything I ever said in regards to "waiting for a missionary".

It has been

102 days

or

3 months and 10 days

or

14 weeks and 4 days

or 

0.28 years.

However you look at it it's all the same... it hasn't been very long. Yet sometimes it feels like it never happened. Like it was something I watched in a movie or dreamed in a dream. That is why I keep writing. Why I obsessively check the mail. I'm afraid of forgetting how I felt 102 days ago.