This semester my fun class was an individual development course on positive living. It has turned out to feel a lot like therapy but more fun and less uncomfortable. I have loved it! Our units have included: gratitude, personal strengths and our top values. Currently we are studying mindfulness which is challenging but it has the potential to be so worth it.
A few weeks ago we covered decision making. It was a really eye opening experience.
I'm not the most decisive person. I don't like to be the one to pick the restaurant or the movie. I spend too much time worrying about regretting my choices. Turns out that isn't all that uncommon. 90% of my classmates including myself admitted to being maximizers. A maximizer is someone who over thinks/analyzes/calcualates both before and after making a decision. Maximizers search for what they believe is the perfect decision.Then after they finally make a choice they wonder "what if".
For example let's say we wanted to go get tacos. Maximizers look up the best places to get tacos on multiple websites. They may also text a few people for their opinion. Once they have found what they think is the very best option they head out for tacos. We will skip over the ordering part because that is a whole process on its own. After the taco place had been chosen and we were enjoying some delicious carne asada, maximers wonder if we picked the very best place or if maybe the other place would have been better.
Doing this not only takes away from the experience they could be having with their taco but maximizing can lead to a whole list of things- higher chance for depression, lower levels of satisfaction, etc. Tacos seem like a simple decision but to some degree the majority of people maximize.
For example let's say we wanted to go get tacos. Maximizers look up the best places to get tacos on multiple websites. They may also text a few people for their opinion. Once they have found what they think is the very best option they head out for tacos. We will skip over the ordering part because that is a whole process on its own. After the taco place had been chosen and we were enjoying some delicious carne asada, maximers wonder if we picked the very best place or if maybe the other place would have been better.
Doing this not only takes away from the experience they could be having with their taco but maximizing can lead to a whole list of things- higher chance for depression, lower levels of satisfaction, etc. Tacos seem like a simple decision but to some degree the majority of people maximize.
Satisfiers are the few people who just go with the flow and can feel happy with chicken, steak or pork without wondering if the other is better. Research finds that satisfiers have the ability to experience higher levels of satisfaction and report being happier overall.
Moral of the story. I'm trying to make a positive effort to live life in the satisfiers lane. Instead of searching and agonizing over what the perfect decision is, I am making choices that are 'good enough'. What it has taught me is that there might not even be a perfect decision. I think Heavenly Father would push me a little harder if there was. Maybe He trusts us to make good enough decisions. I don't want to ruin my good enough decisions by worrying so much about it that I'm unhappy either way. I think good enough has a negative vibe to it but that isn't what I'm trying to illustrate. If we end up living in Provo for the rest of our life that can be good enough. We can be happy, healthy and in love where ever we end up. It will be good enough to keep our covenants, work hard and laugh a lot as life gets even crazier. It is good enough the plan we have come up with (which actually does not include Provo at all). Our life is GREAT and our decisions to make it great are good enough.
I'm not very good at being a satisfier yet but I'm trying. I'm trying to enjoy my pork tacos in life without thinking about what would have happened if I had picked the chicken. Because pork is good enough and chicken is good enough and so on and so forth.
I have a wonderful, patient, loving husband who has been nothing but supportive over the last few months. I have struggled and agonized over the decisions we were making. I was making myself feel absolutely miserable no matter what we decided. I was grateful for this class I took because it help me just make a good enough decision and know that we were going to be more than okay.
Moral of the story. I'm trying to make a positive effort to live life in the satisfiers lane. Instead of searching and agonizing over what the perfect decision is, I am making choices that are 'good enough'. What it has taught me is that there might not even be a perfect decision. I think Heavenly Father would push me a little harder if there was. Maybe He trusts us to make good enough decisions. I don't want to ruin my good enough decisions by worrying so much about it that I'm unhappy either way. I think good enough has a negative vibe to it but that isn't what I'm trying to illustrate. If we end up living in Provo for the rest of our life that can be good enough. We can be happy, healthy and in love where ever we end up. It will be good enough to keep our covenants, work hard and laugh a lot as life gets even crazier. It is good enough the plan we have come up with (which actually does not include Provo at all). Our life is GREAT and our decisions to make it great are good enough.
I'm not very good at being a satisfier yet but I'm trying. I'm trying to enjoy my pork tacos in life without thinking about what would have happened if I had picked the chicken. Because pork is good enough and chicken is good enough and so on and so forth.
I have a wonderful, patient, loving husband who has been nothing but supportive over the last few months. I have struggled and agonized over the decisions we were making. I was making myself feel absolutely miserable no matter what we decided. I was grateful for this class I took because it help me just make a good enough decision and know that we were going to be more than okay.
