February 27, 2014

A Bridge

-like a bridge-

A bridge is strong.
A bridge is steady.
A bridge is reliable, resilient, rigid.
Water races beneath the bridge but the bridge holds firm.
Cars press down and push across the bridge but the bridge doesn't move.

I want to be like a bridge.
I want to be strong.
I want to be steady.
I want to be reliable, resilient, rigid.
Emotion races within me but I strive to hold firm.
The weight of the world presses down on me but I will be
like a bridge.

 Spent several quality hours with myself at first dam today.
The rain always seems to come on really emotional days.

February 24, 2014

as of late

Preheat experience to varying levels of new, exciting and weird
cook for a strange perspective on time

>minimal sleep
>excessive amounts of dance parties
>heavy on the good friends
>don't be afraid to spice it up with trying new things
>stir in a healthy amount of growing up
>thicken with love of the gospel and testimony building
>finish it off with a sprinkle of new and a times uncomfortable

February 19, 2014


It has been 8 months since he left but I remember it like it was yesterday.

Nostalgia, it's dangerous.


  [no-stal-juh, -jee-uh, nuh-] 
a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time:

Might be my favorite picture of Adam. Please notice the paper clip as a tie clip and his attempt at the smolder (tangled).

lots of adam posts lately. again nostalgia it's a rough road.


105 days... I can make it that long right?
105 days until I get to wear a name tag. [one-hundred five] sounds soon but today it feels like forever. I feel like a part of me is missing and I have been trying to patch up the hole but it feels emptier now then it did before. I think that piece of me will only be filled with the Lord's work. I see people spend their lives with things of this world that provide temporary happiness. Fun for a short moment of time but when it is all said and done they still live in the dark. I may not be able to give them the light they so desperately need but I'm hoping I can to someone in Canada.

February 15, 2014

Valentines Day

It's the most hated holiday but that doesn't mean it can't have its pros right?

Valentines from Ukraine! Yeah, I know, he is adorable! Boy do I miss him. I didn't even think about Valentines Day when I emailed him last week. What a wonderful surprise these cute pictures were. Elder Esplin is my favorite!

Dressing up for the Pre-Valentines day dance party. We go to some kind of dance party multiple times a week. We take our dance parties pretty seriously! I love living with these good looking gals!

4 dance parties in 5 days... I'm pretty danced out. Valentines day you were good to us, until next year xoxo

February 11, 2014

Beauty in a Bad Day

(thoughts from last week)
It had been a long day, a bad day.
The kind where it feels like everything that can go wrong does and you are counting the hours until it is over.
 I was running on about an hour of sleep and took the trash out (down 4 stories and across a field- stinking stairs) hoping to clear my head and pull myself back together.
The snow looked irresistibly fluffy and I had an urge to fall onto the fresh blanket.
I laid there in the snow staring at the sky intending to throw myself a pitty party.
However, as I watched the snowflakes float to the earth I felt as peaceful as they looked.
I stayed there for a few minutes until I was wet and cold enough to make it uncomfortable.
Even on my very worst days I am blessed beyond measure.
How grateful am I to know who I am, where I came from and where I am going.

These photos were taken by my super talented roommate. As we walked to the game her artistic eye saw something most people miss. It is fun to see the way she looks at the world and always fun to conveniently be there to model for her. Check out her work here.

February 8, 2014

hair for every season

Freshman Friday Nights
 Back in October when I dyed my hair for the first time I was warned that it was addicting. I thought I would be fine just letting it fade back to normal- wrong. Fresh hair gives you a fresh feeling about life. I needed something exciting and I'm lucky to have a skilled roommate who was itching to play with some hair. So here is to winter hair!

February 7, 2014

Missing Sunshine and You

*Warning* It's late and I'm emotional and this is corny.

It hasn't stopped snowing here in Logan since they asked everyone to pray and fast for moisture. Now I'm all for answering prayers but I miss being warm. I miss summer and summer reminds me of Adam. I miss Adam. I miss the lake. I miss feeling the heat of the sun threatening to give me skin cancer. I miss shorts and T-shirts. But most of all I miss Adam.
233 days in the mission field done for Elder Esplin. 
(Thank you siri for your math skills I know I ask about everyday.)
See you in 665 days Elder Esplin. It'll be December but I'll take winter all year round if I get you with it.

February 4, 2014

light at the end of the tunnel

It isn't the first night I have wondered in from a long day (with another couple long ones ahead) and felt a little on the discouraged side.  It also isn't the first night that I found some SUPER weird, wonderful, wife material roommates waiting to lift my spirits. When I finally reach the light at the end of this tunnel I'll look back and be grateful all over again for the people Heavenly Father sent to help me when I stumbled.
I'm a big believer in angels both those I can and can't see.