December 22, 2013


My spiritual cup is full and overflowing today. At Christmas time we remember the birth of a baby. He wasn't the only baby to be born in humble circumstances at that time or even now. We remember not just the birth a baby boy but who that baby is. He is the baby who grew to be my Savior, who suffered for my sins that I might return to live with him and my Heavenly Father someday. It is Him who I strive to be a little more like each day. It is His church to which I belong. It is His message I want to share. He is the 'reason for the season'. A time to celebrate and remember the birth of the Son of God.

December 21, 2013

one of those days

Days until I see his face- 4
Days he has been gone- 185 (6 months and 2 days)
Days until I see him in person- unknown
Days I have gone without thinking of him since we met- 0

As time passes you would think that day would feel closer... guess again. Doesn't make much sense now does it? But since when has 'time' been rational, logical or at all kind?!

Trying not to waste any days either.

December 17, 2013

no good very bad first half of the day

I always said the one thing that might keep me out of the mission field was the fact that I would have to have needles stuck into my flesh. I know I'm almost 19 but I really hate shots. I was poked 5 different times and I was NOT a fan. Some people are afraid of spiders or heights, for me it's needles and blood. no likely. Oh yeah and I started the day out with a less than desirable trip to the dentist.
Nothing makes you feel more like a little kid again than holding your mom's hand and bailing like a 3 year old at the doctors office or being reprimanded about your lack of flossing at the dentist. By the time it was all over I did not feel grown up enough to serve a mission.
Yes, I still see my pediatrician. 

December 12, 2013

Finally done with those finals..well almost

>>>I'm convinced that if they gave you a little taste of finals week during your college orientation they wouldn't be able to convince any 18-19 year old kid to get a higher education. To quote my roommate Megan "we had no idea what we were in for."
The other thing I have decided is that stress causes you to find things that would normally be moderately humorous extremely funny.. Let's just say it has been a bucket of laughs all week! One stupid pin on Pinterest caused tears and everyday conversation felt like a stand up comedy show.
And one more that I already knew- I have the greatest friends here at Utah State! Without the study break dance parties, all the laughs or simply keeping each other company in the library I would have given up and crawled into a hole.
Personal hygiene and appearance become more optional than necessary and I feel great about the fact that most of my building has become familiar with my mickey mouse footie pajamas. 
I wish I could tell you that I rocked all of my tests and have stupendous grades but.... eh.. it was my first semester okay, I tried hard. I still have one more test tomorrow morning and then I free until January! ps those who were done Tuesday or only had 1 or 2 tests... I hate you.<<<
Things got a weird, ice cream and dr. pepper were needed and my roommate probably hates me because my stuff threw up all over our room.

December 6, 2013

Christmas Lights on I-15

The ugliest part of I-15 is home to these lights.
When I was a kid and we learned about global warming this is what I would always picture. Even now that I know most of that smoke is actually steam it still gives me a funny feeling. Why did I then have an urge to snap a few pictures as we zoomed past not too long ago? I'm not really sure. I found the lights mesmerizing. Isn't that how the things of the world are sometimes though?..You know it isn't good or that really don't like it but you still find yourself engrossed in wonderment and awe.
did that make any sense? nope not really but hey I did just finish homework at 11:55pm on the Friday-eve before finals so my brain is a little on the mushy side.
plus I think it kinda looks like Christmas time.. Christmas lights on I-15?

December 5, 2013

So this is "DEAD WEEK" huh?

They call the week before finals "Dead Week". It only took until Tuesday for me to have an emotional break down.
4 finals to prepare for.
a project, 4 labs, 2 time consuming assignments all due.
preparing to speak in church Sunday.
figure out tuition that is due next week.
and they tell you to make sure you are making time to eat healthy, get a full nights rest and exercise ha really?

I know, I know.. "poor me" everyone is busy and has a lot on their plate. I just need to vent for a second! This college finals thing is harder than I had expected. Now that it is posted I'll get back to work. As Mom told me "go hard to the end" and the end is in sight- 10 days.

Oh wait.. did I mention that it was 7 degrees today? This St. George girl was feeling pretty blue when she checked on the weather this morning. However, it isn't as bad as everyone made it sound. All those people who told me horror stories about how much I would hate winter.. boo to you for causing me needless worry. (knock on wood because it does get worse)

The cute winter selfie in contrast with a realistic reaction

December 1, 2013

a little Thanksgiving

"When you walk with gratitude, you do not walk with arrogance and conceit and egotism, you walk with a spirit of thanksgiving that is becoming to you and will bless your life." -Gordon B. Hinckley

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday! You get the great food and even better company without the hustle and bustle of Christmas. I love Christmas but I think Thanksgiving is my favorite because I often get lost in the busyness of the Christmas season and lose the magic of the holiday. Thanksgiving no one is worried about gifts or decorations and it leaves more time to enjoy each other and just be focus on being grateful.
With all of that said, ironically I didn't even express what I was grateful for this last weekend so I'll do it now
Just a few of the many things I am grateful for this year:
+ First and most importantly my Savior Jesus Christ and the knowledge I have been blessed with at such a young age that he knows and loves Megan.
+ My family. 5 of people I love very most in this world. I honestly can't imagine life without them.
+ My sister's example serving a full time mission. Having her away isn't easy but I am grateful for her example. (probably safe to include several other missionaries I miss as well)
+ The opportunity I have to be an Aggie. What a wonderful opportunity I have to receive an education and I wouldn't want to do it anywhere else.
+ Good roommates. I'm glad I live with such fun girls who make me laugh and keep my insides warm in this chilly place.

That is a very short list for I have many MANY blessings. Happy Thanksgiving!

November 23, 2013

those girls though

Who knows why it took us until the end of the semester to add fuel to the fire of friendship with the beautiful ladies of room 403 or "the girls across the way". It was a fun filled weekend:
+karaoke night at pizza pie cafe
+Catching Fire (incredible movie)
+late night pancakes
+Po Bev
and these pictures our from our night at the institute "Turkey Ball". It is so far my favorite dance yet (and I've been to a lot of dance parties in the last few months). You know you've got a solid group of gals when multiple people ask if you are a dance team. It was an institute dance so... yes it was awkward but we did not hold back. I don't think I have ever danced so carelessly in public.
Feeling good about what the rest of the year may bring!

November 22, 2013

a little sun

Some days you just need a little sunshine in your life.

my roommates artistic eye thought to snap this picture
It's one of my all time favorite sensations- to feel the heat of the sun warming my skin. It had been "one of those days" and I stood at the window feeling sorry for myself as the sun streamed in. As the rays of the sun filled me up there wasn't any room left to feel tense. It left me feeling simply good.
Today I'm grateful for the sun 92,960,000 miles away.

November 20, 2013

5 months

Happy 5 months Elder Esplin.

I couldn't help it- that is why I made this blog so I could post whatever I wanted right?! It has been a really long five months but here is to hoping the next couple years will fly by. I would assume that I had the hardest 5 behind me. I had a weird thought tonight. Adam has been gone longer than we dated or even knew each other before he left. If I wasn't living this story I would never bet on us lasting. Karma is tricky because I was never a big believer in high school relationships or missionary romances making it. I guess I have to eat my own words because I would be lying to you if I didn't admit that I make the same 11:11 wish every time. Adam and I had a really fast developing relationship and I honestly haven't ever felt this way about anyone before. I know I'm young and I know I have a lot of growing up to do but if these last few months have taught me anything it is that Elder Adam Esplin is one of a kind. Even if we end up taking different paths in life I will forever be grateful for his influence on my life. I am a better person because I knew him.
We emailed back and forth the other night (night for me, middle of the day for him). I hadn't done so in a long time because of the time zone difference. Every Monday morning I die a little when I see his "I'm on" email. (He sends an email right when he gets on the computer and all it says is "i'm on") It comes around 3 AM and usually I am sound asleep. The boy is the most random writer and you can never get much information out of him but he still jokes and teases the same so the lack of sleep is worth it. I makes me miss him but I miss him anyway.

So 5 months down and depending on when I leave 2ish years to go. Crazier things have happened right?

November 15, 2013

silly girls and pretty rings

"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond." -Mae West

It was "ladies night" at our favorite local jewelry store! Happy girls were we as we wandered around putting pretty things on our fingers. It was a recipe for a great night: decorated for Christmas, string quartet played in the corner, chocolate fountain and other tasty treats. I tried on ring after ring, after ring! I took a lot of pictures too. I love how different they all are.
I guess every couples love story is different yet beautiful as well.
Finding "the one" and finding "the ring" are not easy tasks.
I definitely have a favorite in both categories ;)

winner winner chicken dinner!!!!!
I love the twisted band and gravitate more towards the circles.

ps I'm not in a hurry to get married.. so no worries mom ;) just for fun!

True friends are like diamonds- bright, beautiful and always in style! -Nicole Richie

A fun little twist on the night... they hid a ring in a wedding cake and 6 girls dug into it to try and win the ring or credit to the store. Two of my cute friends gave it a splendid effort and it was highly enjoyable to watch.

I've always been a hopeless romantic. After a long week it was good to giggle with some girlfriends and talk about love, imagining one day when I will get to leave a ring on my finger. I know what you are thinking, 'marriage hungry freshman'... nah just in love with love!

November 10, 2013

Love Requires Action

I taught relief society today on doing good to others. I was impressed with the insights and experiences shared. The following quote comes from a conference talk entitled You Are My Hands.
True love requires action. We can speak of love all day long—we can write notes or poems that proclaim it, sing songs that praise it, and preach sermons that encourage it—but until we manifest that love in action, our words are nothing but “sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal."

Christ did not just speak about love; He showed it each day of His life. He did not remove Himself from the crowd. Being amidst the people, Jesus reached out to the one. He rescued the lost. He didn’t just teach a class about reaching out in love and then delegate the actual work to others. He not only taught but also showed us how to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.”

Christ knows how to minister to others perfectly. When the Savior stretches out His hands, those He touches are uplifted and become greater, stronger, and better people as a result.

If we are His hands, should we not do the same?

-President Dieter F Uchrdorf
Read the talk HERE

Coming to college I was excited for life to be 'all about me'. Do whatever I want to do, eat whatever I want, go where I want, etc. pretty much be "Selfish Sally". This lesson was a good reminder to me that true happiness is found when I help God's children. It is my goal this next week to be less focused on me and try harder to be more like the Savior who was the perfect example of selfless service.

November 4, 2013

Winter Wonderland

You know you are from the desert when you wake up to just a little snow and it is a big deal.
I'm not ready for winter, physically or emotionally.
I blinked and Fall was over. Winter has rudely interrupted the pretty leaves of the season.
Ready or not here we go.

I have heard so many horror stories about how freezing I am going to be at school so today even though the snow had long since melted I wore my winter coat. I felt a bit silly when I walked around campus while everyone else wore simple jackets and sweatshirts. There was even a few kids in T-shirts but I'm pretty sure they are just as crazy as I am just in the opposite direction. In conclusion, it is getting chillier in Logan but I think tomorrow I might leave my snow gear home.

November 3, 2013

Time and Time Again

This is my new obsession.

I bought an old book from the DI titled Time and Time Again.
I stare down at the page and words jump out at me. When you put them all together you get something magical.

Here are just a few of the many...

Dare to Call it Love

and if love were too strong a word, surely any other would not have been strong enough for the emotion
radiated    in all human directions.
loved, in a sort of way
threaded the love into    pattern of     behavior

2 yrs

wish for
I think
I hope
managed to endure it
by some gorgeous miracle
he returned
to whatever fate might be in store

The unthinkable

in the high drama
The darkest moment came
shrugged in answer,
not me. The truth
came unsought
The Times
seemed to have to ransack his memory
found it easy to forget
but at length he replied:
Addressed to me personally,
he must have known it wouldn't do

The thing about poetry is it often doesn't make sense but maybe that is why I like it. Phrases that stand out on a page of a story I have never read can mean so much to me while sounding like a few strung together words to anyone else. It has become my favorite late night stress reliever and if I am not careful can keep me awake much too late.

Late Nights of Freshman Year

time to be in college
where they best belonged
a girl; or rather, the girl
she was
a chance to 
remember it
with coats and dripping umbrellas,
she was
and continued

November 1, 2013


i have spent a lot of time in the library lately
attempting to do homework but mostly watching people come and go
i have found a new favorite spot-a cozy quit corner with a perstine view of a high traffic area
it's addicting and has been rather thought provoking
there are so many faces i don't know
so many people I will never meet and that is just on one college campus alone
there is a whole world full of people
every person has a story
everyone has their own worries,
their own hopes and dreams
God knows every name, every face, every story.

October 28, 2013

a new fall look

It is fun to have a photographer for a roommate because you get a lot of stellar pictures! Photo Cred to Nicole Tucker photography check out her work it is great!

This story may be one of my favorites from college so far. It was later in the evening (really more like midnight) on Thursday night. It had been a long hard day of midterms and I was done with tests for the week and ready to get the weekend started. The door was open and people came in and out through out the night drinking homemade dirty dr. peppers (my personal favorite). One girl came up with color setting in her hair- the spark that lite the fire. I decided I wanted to dye my hair for fall. I had never done it before. Why not? You only are a freshman in college once right? (YOLO?) If I was gonna do it than why not do it that night. Everyone agreed with the idea and off we went to Wal-mart! Luck would have it that one of my roommates is a talented hair dresser and she worked her magic on a few of us. It was a long process for I have a lot of hair and we didn't finish until 4am. My cute friends sat up all night to see the finished product.


 [room-meyt, room-] Show IPA
a person who is assigned to share or shares a room or apartment with another or others.
those with whom you paint your nails and dye your hair
1780–90,  Americanism; room + mate1
2013-2014 Utah State University

This picture makes me laugh so hard. Just call us the next pretty little lairs! hahaha
I love them. I love them so very much!

October 25, 2013

on top of the world

Imagine Dragons

It was my first concert (I don't really count David Archuleta in the 8th grade) and what a concert it was. I have been a big fan of their music for quite a while and hearing them live was phenomenal.
I knew all the words so sang and screamed like any good fan would have. I loved every minute of it and wished it would have lasted longer.

October 23, 2013

open road

I hit a freeway barrier about a month or so ago on my way home from school. It has made me really nervous to drive but tonight I fell in love with the open road.

...there is something soothing to the soul in the rhythm of driving.
the long stretch of open road ahead mesmerizing and
darkness engulfed the scenery so i watched the headlights of cars.
cars passing me and me passing them,
back and forth everything moving like clock work.
no other obligations at that moment but to drive forward
everything else in my world has no choice but to wait.
instead of worrying about everything waiting for me
i day dreamed
free to think about whatever i wanted
no one in ear shot to hear me sing at the top of my lungs to all my favorite songs
in that moment, through that canyon,
i fell in love with the road
that night the drive went by too quickly
if i had gas and time to spare who knows how far i would have gone...

October 21, 2013

My City

It's my city my city childhood my life that's right, right under those lights

Spent a Saturday night drinking swig sitting on the top of Dixie rock over looking my home turf.
I can't even count how many nights and even a fair few days have consisted of staring down on St. George.
Man does that rock have a lot of memories-
First place I ever held hands with a boy.
Where I spent a bitter-sweet (mostly bitter) "last night together".
Countless heart to hearts with dear friends who are now far away.
Day dates, picnics, laughter and tears... I was slightly overwhelmed when I began to try and list all that has happened there. It is safe to say that the view up there brings back a lot of memories. It has growing up and high school written all over it. While I am glad to be living the next chapter of my life it was fun to sit and reminisce for a moment. Good old Dixie rock is a must visit if you ever find yourself in St. George.

October 20, 2013

Red Rocks

Snow Canyon State Park

Picture overload so you can share in my obsession of these red rocks I love so much!
A sunny day with the perfect Southern Utah fall temperature is hard to beat.
My happiest childhood memories included many hikes with my family. As we walked my mom told me how she wished I could remember riding around in one of those back pack things on family hikes when I was just a little girl. I might not remember those hikes but somewhere inside me I sense it. I feel happy there on those trails with the people I love very most. I belong under that bright sun in that red dirt.
It is funny the things you realize you love when you no longer have them. The red rocks have been that for me and I got a good fill of them this last weekend.  Hopefully it will carry me over until Christmas when I can find myself among them again.
The iPhone did alright with pictures I'd say.

October 17, 2013

Coming Home

There really is no place like home.
Pulling off the I-15 exit to hear the words
"I'm coming home
I'm coming home
tell the world I'm coming home
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes
I'm coming home, I'm coming home
tell the world I'm coming home"
sang by a car full of home hungry college kids as it blasts from the speakers.
There really is nothing like those red rocks and still feeling the sun on your skin even at this time of year.
Oh St. George I've missed you. To speak in song lyrics again
"Back where I belong. I've never felt so strong"

Fall break... what a blessing and what a weekend it will be!

October 15, 2013


one of the hardest parts about being away for school has been not being able to see these boys play.  i'm so glad that i got the chance to watch this handsome freshman football captain do what he loves!  he is one of  the most dedicated athletes i have ever met and i'm proud i get to call him my brother!

 when did he grow up? i mean really look how good looking he is! watch out ladies he may break some hearts! and he is taller than me a which i am not so okay with because he is supposed to be the bee-boo (baby)
 it felt good to laugh and joke and even to have those funny brothers push my buttons! love the fam!

October 14, 2013

sick of goodbyes

See ya in 2 Elder

[I know I already posted about this guy once but it's my blog and I can do whatever I please right?]

It's hard to hang up when you know you wont hear that voice for a long time. I'm so grateful to have been able to have such an incredible friend in my life. I'm excited to see what great things Elder Paddock will do in the mission field. I'm sure gonna miss this kid but those people need him more than I do. I know, that is hard to believe because he keeps me sane and feeds my hunger for humor. The total came to 11,491 snap chats. I don't really know what I am gonna do while I wait for the bus now that my top snap chatter will be MIA from the social media world. To be frank I am rather sick and tired of these goodbyes. It begins to take a toll on you. Luckily or maybe unluckily Zack is the last of them for a while and then hopefully sooner rather than later it will be my turn.

I love Uncle Bret

A few months ago my Uncle Bret learned that he had Mesothelioma.

Not Uncle Bret
He is too strong and tough for cancer
Not Uncle Bret
He is too selfless and loving for cancer
Not Uncle Bret
He is too relied upon for cancer
Not Uncle Bret
That's not fair

Tonight we gathered as an extended family. We fasted and prayed and listened to beautiful blessings and faith inspiring testimony. The things I felt are hard to put into words. Bret Frodsham is a super hero in my eyes. I didn't know it was possible to face a trial like this cancer with such a positive attitude and unshakable faith in God.
If you need to read something inspiring or need a reminder about what is really important in this life got read

My Uncle Bret
Strong and tough enough to beat this cancer
My Uncle Bret
Still selfless and loving while battling cancer
My Uncle Bret
Relies on the Lord to face this cancer
My Uncle Bret
What faith he has

As we were leaving he gave each of the college kids 20 dollars. This isn't the first time he has done this. How is it that someone can think so much of other people and be so generous at a time like this? I was touched tonight by the testimony and example of an incredible man I am lucky to be related to.