March 31, 2014

I loved you once...

I fell in love last year...

After years of not knowing what I was missing I quickly became addicted to your sweetness. I thought this love would last forever. I'm sad to say that I don't feel the same way about you as I did before. I once looked forward to our time together but now you cause my head to ache and throb and my insides feel a bit uneasy. I thought I meant more to you than that. We made such a good pair. You were always there for me when I had a bad day or needed a pick me up. I thought I could count on you but lately you haven't made me happy at all. Instead my head works a million miles a minute and I regret my decision. I don't rely on you like I used to and maybe it is time we took a break. I think it would be good for me. I need to experience a bit more of a variety. I hope I can still occasionally experience your goodness but if this is goodbye forever I just want you to know that I will always have special place in my heart for you.
It's not you, it's me. Dr. Pepper thank you for the magical moments we have spent together but it is time I kicked this caffeine habit for a while. 

March 29, 2014

getting crafty

This craft level was set too an extreme difficulty. I'm pretty proud of the result though so I'm documenting it on da blogity blog.

Kalli, Carly and I spent hours battling the tangled string and limited amount of glue in the hot glue gun.
However, struggle and all I would say it was worth it.

March 28, 2014

just a year ago

March 28th 2013 was the day I officially meet Adam Esplin.
I have to say officially because I had heard about and facestalked him for weeks leading up to this day.
I will forever be grateful for that "blind" date.

This photo is from just a few days later.
This was probably the best snow cone I have ever eaten.
A piece of my journal entry from a year ago...
"I was so scared to go! but it only took a few minutes with Adam to feel completely comfortable. He was such a funny, kind, easy to talk to and super handsome date. {description of date} I sure wish I would have met him a few years ago. He really is such a great kid who loves his family and has his priorities right. Man after one date I'm pretty flustered."

March 27, 2014


Black and White Jazz Night

Finger foods, elegant attire and jiggedy jazz music.

There seems to be endless amounts of new fun things to experience when you are an Aggie.

March 26, 2014

Pick Me Ups

I've experienced so many ups and downs this week. I have felt really foolish because I can't seem to control my mood or emotions. I had no excuse to be an emotional wreck but I was. I was surrounded by the usual giggles and screams of a freshman dorm and yet I felt so lonely. It was near the middle of the night but I found myself going to my rock here in Logan. Big brothers are honestly the best and I don't know what I would do without mine. Boy am I grateful for that guy who honors his priesthood and offered me a blessing and let me invade on his apartment until I could pull myself back together.
I also had another big blessing this week that came in a little package. Her name is Kira. I don't know if she will ever know how much I needed that trip to frozen yogurt (that ended up lasting all night) or her kind heart and listening ear. She had no idea that I was feeling down when she asked me if I wanted to go get ice cream. Making friends isn't as easy as I remember it being but it is easy with her. I thanked my Father in Heaven that night for sending me some easy laughter and good company.

March 24, 2014

together again

We may go to different Universities now but we still know how to have a good time.
I'm so glad Savanna and Aubrey made a spontaneous trip to Logan.
I love these girls. I miss them!

March 18, 2014

waiting is wasting

I have lived 7,012 days
And today I have come to the realization that I have spent far too many of them waiting. I wait for the day when this is going to happen or the day when I finally reach that mile stone. Too much waiting is wasted time. There are only 6 weeks left in my first year of college and I don't want to waste them. Here is to not waiting for it to end but instead living every moment, minute and memory knowing that March 18th 2014 only ever happens once. I want to make these last 45ish days as a freshman in college mean something because life is fragile and nothing will ever be the same as it is today.
No more just waiting for my mission, preparing still but I don't want to wish time away. The time I have left with these people in this circumstance is precious and it is limited.

I love to see the temple

I've spent my whole life preparing for this day. It came much sooner than I had planned on back when I sang the words of I Love to See the Temple in Primary. I never dreamed that I would be taking this step in my life at 19. The temple is unlike anything I have experienced before. I'm so grateful to have been raised by parents who set a good example for me and helped me get there. I was very flustered and nervous going in. The fact that I forgot my temple recommend on the kitchen table and ended up being late didn't help. However, I'm pretty sure the requirements for being a temple worker include being incredibly kind and motherly and they put my nerves at ease. I'm grateful for the people who were there with me that day as well as the many who weren't but have played significant roles in getting me to this point in my life. I feel happier writing this post than I have in weeks. I'm one step closer to living with my Father in Heaven again. My life has purpose and meaning. God has a plan for His children. The blessings of the temple are beautiful! One day I'll be back in that temple to be sealed for time and all eternity. It was a great day and there aren't words for the feelings I felt.

I still love to see the temple even more now that I have been inside.


Post Spring Break depression is so real. The fact that it snowed today in Logan was the tipping point to my homesickness. I knew I loved St. George but I had forgotten how beautiful March is down south in my earthly form of paradise.

Taking new people down memory lane.

I did all my favorite things and couldn't have had a better 4 girls do them with me! It was a little weird to go back to so many places that hold such significant memories and make new memories there. I will always have a special place in my heart for my hometown. It has been good to me through the years and gave me the boost I was craving. Spring Break two thousand fourteen was phenomenal and here are just a few of the reasons why...
>Spent two incredible days in Zion. It is safe to say that Zion's National Park is one of my all time favorite places. Monday I survived a brutal 8 mile "stair-master, strenuous hike" with the fam bam! We hiked Observation point once while Jeff was on his mission and so we set out to do it again for Hermana Haley. It is my guess the family will pick a different hike to write my name in sticks at the top of while I am gone because that puppy kicked our butts. I'm not sure what I did to hurt myself but I spent the next few days icing and getting taped because I had to be better for round two with the roommates on Thursday. Thursday the gals and my brothers set out on one of my favorites. Angels Landing is popular and it should be. It was my 3rd time up that mountain. Angels is much more forgiving on your legs and half the mileage. I loved going back up that trail with my college friends reminiscing on last years trip up with the high school homies.
>I had fun taking my aggies (joined by my childhood bestie Steph) to some of the classic make-out look out spots of St.G. We did it the right way with a Swig run in the mix. (I'm not even going to try and explain my love for swig, just know it's deep). We hit up Dixie rock first which was more crowded than I have ever seen it by A LOT. I think every high school baseball team was there. We attempted to start a dance party but let's be honest high school kids care way too much about what others think to have a solid dance party. It gave us a lot of material to joke about for the rest of the night though and there is nothing like getting hit on by 17 year olds to boost your ego haha. After we got our dance bug out in the parking lot we headed to the D. It had been a while since I had been back there. We were the only ones up there and I think it has a way better view of the city. I sat there with girls I adore and fell in love with St. George all over again.
>The week was full of fun. I ate at my favorite restaurant, slept in my comfy bed, laughed at my goofy brothers, made new friends, saw some old ones, soaked up some sun and hot tub, had a glorious picnic, hit up down town for thrifting and St. G loving, shopping and bonding and much more! If I wrote it all this post would be a novel and I'm getting sleepy so I'll leave it with this...
I'm so grateful for good friends and a forever family! I'm so blessed! Special thanks to Ma and Pa for letting me bring the craziness home with me and for feeding us so well. I was not ready AT ALL for it to end. I saved best for last and ended the week with the Temple.

I'll steal some of Nicole Tucker Photography soon but until then here are a few iphone pics to fill the space.

March 4, 2014

17 months ago

Did I really say 'see ya in 2' seventeen months ago?
How different my life was back then. Spent a good part of yesterday remembering all the fun I had with Elder Kimzey. Good friends are what made my high school experience so great and this friend is the reason I passed STATS. It was a good little pick me up to email back and forth with this Elder. I feel sad that I wont be here for when he comes home. Look out Provo girls Logan's got 7 months left. ;)

March 2, 2014


What happened to finding joy in the little things?
What happened to ambition?
What happened to waking up in the morning with a desire to make the most of today?
What happened to laughing at every joke?
What happened to not caring what they thought and just loving me?
What happened to wanting adventure?
What happened to loving people?
What happened to spontaneity and YOLO?
What happened to loving dance parties?
What happened to just wanting to make it through class so I could come home?
What happened to confidence?
What happened to a positive attitude?

What happened to me? Where did I go and where can I find that girl I liked being?