August 24, 2016

Fresh Start

This is one of the first moments alone since moving back to Provo. It is weird to be home alone. I wanted to do a little reflection before taking part in the very social Provo night life.

I am determined to give BYU and Provo (and adulthood) a fresh start.
I struggled in various ways last semester and felt like life in Provo, as a Cougar didn't get a fair shot.


Back to looking at that Y on the mountain still having a hard time believing this is where I ended up.

Back with a new job that I like MUCH better than the one before.
I have never been happier making minimum wage. I love Swig and feel a happy kind of tired after leaving there each day.
and of course I'll be nannying because I need kids in my life to feel like Megan. This time they are blood. I've already spent a significant amount of time at my aunts and was thrilled when she offered me a job.

Back but with some good changes in housing. I am just about finished decorating my dorm room. Our apartment feels like a little home and I love being here. The people we live by are social and kind and inclusive. We are a 3 minute walk to class. It's about a perfect as could be.

Back to the stresses of being a student. I better be ready for classes to start because I just dropped $409 on textbooks. Tuition is paid for and rent will be due before I know it. Dad assures me that being a poor college students were some of the best days him and mom had.

Back to Kira and Carly. It's almost like I never left. It's fun to come home to them. It's fun to hang out with Cole and Charlie. It's fun to meet new people and begin to make new friends. It's fun to go on dates and feel nervous and excited and evaluate it all with my roommates and phone calls to mom.

Back to feeling homesick. I must like that family of mine too much because it is hard not to miss them. With Jeff and Justina in Logan and everyone else in St. George I think they should all just come to me on a regular basis because I'm in the middle.

Back to all the good and all the bad but I am in a much better place and am ready for it all.

Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation. 2 Nephi 22:2

August 18, 2016


I remember when my family told me they got a dog. I was on a mission and thought they were joking. It took at least 3 weeks for me to believe that the dog wasn't a big prank. I was shocked!
We aren't dog people. I NEVER thought one would live in our house. I was unsure how I felt about it to be honest. I was a little bitter because I would miss the stage of having a cute tiny puppy. By the time I returned home from my mission Coco was still small but a full-grown dog. I didn't really like her.
She ate my stuff.
Pooped on the ground.
Barked at every person who entered the house.
I was just not sure how to handle it because I don't really like pets.

Fast forward now to this morning when I said my goodbyes to the animal that I once wasn't too fond of. I cried so hard!!! I'm still not a dog person but I am a Coco person. That cute thing has us all (me included) wrapped around her little paw. I love my dog like she is a person. (I'm one of those people now)
She makes me feel like a rock star every time I come home.
She knows when I'm sad and looks at me with big puppy eyes that say all the things I need to hear-All-star "ESA" (emotional support animal).
She is still naughty but teaches us patience and to keep our stuff off the floor.

I miss her, craziness and all.

August 9, 2016

Finding Strength in Humility

A quick thought for my benefit.

I've spent the morning packing and calculating funds- tuition and rent and books and a ROC pass (it's more important than books) and my dream of studying abroad in London (which feels really unrealistic today). I was feeling rather pessimistic and took a Facebook break.
One of my best friends had posted an interview of her family friend.

It was a small slap in the face to read the story of a women who has trials and financial burdens MUCH greater than mine. It was a humbling few minutes.
I don't believe in coincidences and this morning my scripture study was on pride and humility. I hope to one day be the kind of person that lives close enough to the spirit that the Lord doesn't need to compel me to be humble. However, in my imperfection I was really grateful for the nudge back onto the right track.

The words to the first verse of hymn #130
Be thou humble in thy weakness, and the Lord thy God shall lead thee,
Shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers.
Be thou humble in thy pleading, and the Lord thy God shall bless thee,
Shall bless thee with a sweet and calm assurance that he cares.

It is comforting to know that He cares about my struggles great and small, that He will always be there not to take away the hard things but to give me the strength I need to keep moving forward.
I have REALLY good friends who inspire me to be better on the daily. Zack, Steph, Hunter and I have been studying the same topics this week and sharing insight in our group text message... yeah I know like I said REALLY good friends.
To quote Zack
"I loved Helaman 3:35 this morning. For a long time I never associated humility with strength, but it says they 'did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ.'...."

I just know that there is NO WAY I will make it through college (or life) on my strength alone. For I am weak but can find strength in humility.

I'm still SUPER stressed but it was a good reminder to stop-breath-keep breathing-and move forward.
Life is a roller-coaster and it would be extremely dull if we didn't go both up and down.