Check Point

I took the hardest test of my life Saturday morning. I was physically shaking afterwards.. I'm not even being metaphorical here.. I was shaking. Dang finals. 2/5 done.. we got this! It was sad so I came home and left straight on a run. I always end up at the temple. I sat there to catch my breath and ended up sitting on the grass for a long time and writing a rough draft of the following on my phone. It wasn't even a nice day out- cold and slightly windy. BUT there was a nice feeling and I did a little reflecting on the last few months.

Things I have learned, am grateful for or some favorites from this last semester (in no particular order)...

1. I have been so grateful for my cousin William. He will never know what those lunches, invites to crazy house parties or late night in&out runs at 12:01am every "Monday morning" meant to me. He is an incredible person and I love being his friend. Going to school with him is a joy!

2. I have learned how important it is to have a safe place. My safe place this last semester was a quick 8 minute drive to the Coreys. I found peace, comfort and most importantly people who loved me unconditionally at my aunt and uncles house. I did my laundry there, ate dinner there, vented, trusted, cried, laughed and felt so safe there.

3. I could write a million separate posts about my party of 8, Frodsham Swag members, forever family... they are my world. Being away from them always spotlights just how much they mean to me. I love them with every part of myself.

4. Mom and Dad.. they are the reason I can keep moving. I call mom a couple of times a day. Dad sends texts at just the right moment. I can not thank them enough for what they have done to get me and then keep me here this semester.

5. One of the most prominent things that sticks out from my first semester at BYU has been what it means to be a true homie. I saw a cheesy pinterest quote the other day that said something like "be careful who you make memories with, those things stick around forever." As I look back on my favorite memories I'm grateful for those who helped me create them. Cole and Charlie will mostly likely never see this.. which means I should probably thank them in person for being the truest of homies. They add excitement and spontaneity to my college nights.

6. Fast food really isn't about the food. I treasure the moments I spent in McDonalds, Wendy's or Chic Flia with Kira. I will miss that this summer. Not because I will crave chicken nuggets but because I will crave the conversation and therapy those nights brought me.

7. Late night drives. This has always been a favorite activity. It like the above became medicinal.

8. Yoga with my roommates... It was one of the only nights we all did something together. Yes there is still a scar on my foot from months ago when I cut it open falling from a couples yoga position. That pain was a small price to pay for the fun we had being friends that night.

9. Making new friends is harder than I remember it being. I'm grateful for those who made it easier. Alisa, Brendon, Cole, Charlie, John, Allie, Paige, Ryan, Vince, Chris, Morgan etc. It is easy to make casual one time friends but those that carry on to the next weekend... glad I have a few more of those. The kindness of new friends= tender mercies.

10. Old friends.. reconnecting with people from the past or calling those who live in other cities. I have always been a people person. Another thing I was reminded of this semester was the importance of investing in those relationships that you want to matter down the road. A lot of times that means sacrificing for it. I had a lot of people sacrifice for me these last few months and it didn't go unnoticed.

11. A note to future me: Don't pass up a good dance party. The homework, sleep or responsibility are good but at the end of the semester but the dance parties are remembered.

12. Be Kind to Yourself. (my life motto of late). Take care of Megan. I need quality sleep, sunshine and exercise (and the frequent Dr. Pepper of course). It is a work in progress but I'm figuring this one out little by little. Megan is a little high maintenance.

13. Don't try to be who you were. Coming home from a mission has been a complex puzzle. I struggled the first few month to figure out how I fit into this world I came back to. I couldn't be Hermana Frodsham, I tried being high school Megan which REALLY didn't work and freshman year at USU Megan just felt wrong. It was like this whole identity crisis. The past 2 or 3 weeks I've started to feel myself begin to settle into 21 year old, still trying to figure out her life Megan...it has been better.

14. Being back in the mountains. I missed those things.

15. I learned the danger of expectations. People hurt and disappoint you. Things don't turn out the way you thought they would. Life isn't a fairy tale. Yes, this is cynical. I'm not gonna sugar coat that one.

16. It is okay to ask for help. Help from heaven, home and health care professionals. I have been grateful for all three.

17. There is great power in daily scripture study. I felt the difference on the days I missed that half hour.

18. There is no place like home. I'm so excited to spend the summer in the red dirt and blazing sun.