What gives you the right?

In honor the girls going and the girls staying.

Boys have it easy. It is their Priesthood responsibility to serve a mission (now don't for one second think I am saying that missions themselves are easier just the decision). When you are a girl you prepare, prepare, prepare and then find out if a mission is right for you. That "finding out" is no simple magic 8 ball move. The dynamics of Mormon culture since the age change has put all sorts of pressure on female young adults of the church. It seems everyone has an opinion. I have a lot of bottled up frustration on the topic which has resulted in this post.

"You should stay home and get married" "Go on a mission, of course. Think how much it will benefit your future family." "Let me guess you are going on a mission just like every other LDS girl" "Every girl I talk to is leaving on a mission" "Why aren't you going" etc. etc.
Well here is something I have learned- it is not for anyone to have an opinion about.
You can say nothing until you have spent the time on your knees, sleepless nights, and frustrated cries that so often are required when making this decision. They call it personal revelation for a reason. And unless they are your family member or you are their Priesthood leader...

Who are you to have an opinion? Who are you to assume? Who are you to question?

I have just recently returned from my first year of college and while I was there I finalized my decision to serve a mission and for your information-
no I am not going because I have "a missionary"
no I am not going because everyone else is (which is an exaggeration)
no I am not going because I don't want to get married right now
no I did not jump on the bandwagon and make this decision lightly.
and yes I realize that missions are no vacation and that they are VERY hard.

Some stupid RM (turns out just because you went on a mission doesn't mean you are the RM they paint for you when you're in high school) chastised a friend of mine last week for deciding to serve a mission. He warned her that she'll have all sorts of competition when she gets home and it'll be so much harder to get married. haha really? When she told me about this conversation we decided it was a blessing for him that there will be plenty of girls to chase cuz she for sure wasn't interested.
He is just one of many conversations I have heard about and been apart of.
I remember one conversation I had with an adult right after the age change who voiced their opinion that girls were jumping into a mission without realizing the money they required. I was far above irritated at that one. Not your child, not your worry, not your business. Instead of rejoicing at the hastening of the work we are telling young women that money is more important than giving people who are in the dark the light they are been searching for?

I have good friends who have decided that a mission wasn't something they were going to do. Good girls who are doing wonderful things with their lives but when people ask (and they always do) the response they receive is never too warm. My heart has often hurt for these friends who have to deal with their choice, to continue to live righteously and be a missionary without a name tag, is looked down upon.

It isn't an easy time of life as is and then we throw in a decision that will influence the rest of your life in ways you can't even comprehend.

When the age change came it wasn't an awe-ha moment for me. For some people it was and for a while I envied them. The announcement came and went and I still wasn't on the send me on a mission list. As my guy friends in high school started to experience the excitement of receiving a mission call and my sister prepared to leave I began to wonder if that was the path I should be taking. It took some time but I came to realize that a mission may have not been in my plan but it was in my Father in Heaven's plan for me. So don't for one second think I made this decision on a whim. There may be some girls out there who have but the reality is that it is their decision to make and NOTHING gives anyone else the right to question them on it. I went away to college and started my papers the first week I was there. I worked on my papers from August until they were submitted January 1st. It took me that long to know for sure and there are still days I question, still days I feel myself completely panic and think 'what did I get myself into'. However, every time I return to my knees I get the same answer and so I move forward.
In less than a month now I will join the army of missionaries all over the world. What a wonderful time we live in. People are sharing the gospel both at home and as full-time missionaries.
So good for you to the girls who got an answer to share the gospel with those around them and God speed to the ones who bravely submitted mission papers.

It isn't easy to go on a mission. It isn't easy not to go on a mission. It for sure isn't easy to figure out either.

Just so you know- There are more supportive, uplifting people than otherwise. Thank you to those who have been excited for me and supported me either way, this post wasn't about you. To those people (groups of college boys for the most part) who too quickly say whatever comes to your head- this post WAS for you.